{"id":3267,"date":"2022-08-29T10:08:04","date_gmt":"2022-08-29T14:08:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=3267"},"modified":"2023-06-01T16:36:33","modified_gmt":"2023-06-01T20:36:33","slug":"healing-from-generational-trauma-boundaries-and-empathy-can-co-exist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/healing-from-generational-trauma-boundaries-and-empathy-can-co-exist\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing from Generational Trauma: Boundaries and Empathy Can Co-Exist\u200b"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Healing from Generational Trauma: Boundaries and Empathy Can Co-Exist\u200b<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I knew that my childhood wasn\u2019t like that of the kids I grew up with and that my relationship with my mom was out of the ordinary, but it wasn\u2019t until I grew up and had my own kids, that I truly recognized how toxic it was – and how hurt she also was.<\/span><\/p>

What do we imagine a mother to be? What does she look like? What is she doing? What feelings come up when you\u2019re thinking of her?<\/span><\/p>

The only mom I knew was the one I had, and when I looked to the media as I grew up I didn’t recognize those characters as ones that I recognized.<\/span><\/p>

These movies would always portray the mother-figure as one who was understanding, patient and kind, the maker of meals and the kisser of boo-boos. She would hold her children in a warm embrace when they were sad, and wipe away their tears, assuring them everything would be ok, because she was there.<\/span><\/p>

These mothers, the Lorelei Gilmore and June Cleaver moms\u2026 even Elastigirl from \u2018The Incredibles\u2019, were problem solvers, held their children\u2019s trust, were their child\u2019s protection and their guide through difficult situations. These mothers would always do the best they could, and the children always seem to know that their mothers loved them more than anything in the entire world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

This might be the reality for some people but my reality was a lot closer to that of the 1981 film “Mommy Dearest”. If you know, you know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Growing up with trauma<\/a><\/strong> at the hand of someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally and protect you and guide you and comfort you has lasting impacts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Recognizing that my own mothers trauma is what caused her to be the mother she was, was an important step to me truly empathizing with her. Recognizing that even if that is true, I still need to protect my peace and create boundaries, was a whole other thing. And it was hard. I care so much which is why boundaries felt so mean in the first place. But boundaries were actually the kind thing. For me, and for her.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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A post shared by The Honest Mom (Libby) (@diaryofanhonestmom)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>