{"id":3157,"date":"2022-06-13T22:51:28","date_gmt":"2022-06-14T02:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=3157"},"modified":"2023-02-17T14:15:23","modified_gmt":"2023-02-17T18:15:23","slug":"keeping-moms-oppressed-and-depressed-a-viral-movement-against-the-gaslighting-of-burnt-out-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/keeping-moms-oppressed-and-depressed-a-viral-movement-against-the-gaslighting-of-burnt-out-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Keeping Moms Oppressed and Depressed: A Viral Movement Against The Gaslighting of Burnt Out Women"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3157\" class=\"elementor elementor-3157\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-cd51b0a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"cd51b0a\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-817db3c\" data-id=\"817db3c\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e9d412c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"e9d412c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Mom Rage and Mental Health: The Convenient Scapegoat and Gaslighting Burnt out Moms<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-072e039 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"072e039\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-850d1de elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"850d1de\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I open up my messages on any given day as a digital creator on multiple platforms with a focus on the wellness of mothers and I am inundated with cries for help:\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stories of burnt out mothers<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">DM\u2019s of moms sharing intimate secret struggles they haven\u2019t shared with anyone<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the lamenting of the everyday mom who feels like she is just not enough for the task at hand<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p>What\u2019s the task? Motherhood, apparently.\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>Why apparently?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because although it is 2022, a time in which we are meant to be a society of equality and progressive thought, women are still carrying the majority of the unpaid, undervalued, emotional, mental and physical labour of keeping a household running.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We have become so accustomed and socialised to believe and assume that these roles belong to women that they have become intrinsically tied to the label of \u201cmother\u201d.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While caring for children and our homes is most certainly one of our main roles as mothers, the division of this labour is not equally split among men and women and all unpaid domestic roles are not and should not fall under the label of mother.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On May 30th, 2022 I made a viral Instagram post and TikTok about this topic and the results are in: Moms are exhausted and we\u2019re sick of being told it\u2019s an \u201cus\u201d problem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>In September 2022, I was asked to speak on this issue on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=vQeMeghI3xk\">The Tamron Hall Show in NYC.\u00a0<\/a><\/p><blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7103160826479119621\" data-video-id=\"7103160826479119621\"><section><a title=\"@diaryofanhonestmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@diaryofanhonestmom<\/a> It\u2019s not a you thing <a title=\"socialnorms\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/socialnorms\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#socialnorms<\/a> <a title=\"motherhood\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/motherhood\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#motherhood<\/a> <a title=\"momlife\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momlife\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#momlife<\/a> <a title=\"momrage\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momrage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#momrage<\/a> <a title=\"mommyrage\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/mommyrage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#mommyrage<\/a> <a title=\"ppd\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/ppd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#ppd<\/a> <a title=\"martyrdom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/martyrdom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#martyrdom<\/a> <a title=\"motherhoodunplugged\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/motherhoodunplugged\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#motherhoodunplugged<\/a> <a title=\"feministmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/feministmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#feministmom<\/a> <a title=\"mentalload\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/mentalload\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#Mentalload<\/a> <a title=\"defaultparent\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/defaultparent\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#defaultparent<\/a> <a title=\"maternityleave\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/maternityleave\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#maternityleave<\/a> <a title=\"momsgetit\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momsgetit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#momsgetit<\/a> <a title=\"parenting\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/parenting\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#Parenting<\/a> <a title=\"\u266c original sound - The Honest Mom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7103160819814583045\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c original sound &#8211; The Honest Mo<\/a><\/section><\/blockquote><p><script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3989195 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3989195\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The Motherhood Burnout Epidemic: Striking a Chord With Burnt Out Moms<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-42e03f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"42e03f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recently, <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ctvnews.ca\/health\/coronavirus\/nearly-half-of-canadian-moms-reaching-their-breaking-point-due-to-pandemic-survey-finds-1.5893508\">CTV news <\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">wrote that nearly half of Canadian moms are reaching their breaking point, due to the pandemic. And while I agree that the pandemic has immensely exacerbated the plight of mothers carrying the domestic load while juggling children and work, the pandemic is not the root of the problem, rather the catalyst to the final breaking point.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The structural inequality is the root. Patriarchy is the root. The cultural norm that unpaid labour at home is \u2018women\u2019s work\u2019 is the root.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The worst part is, everyday moms aren\u2019t necessarily seeing what is happening as a social issue. Burdened by the worries, stresses, and tasks of everyday life, mothers are too busy taking care of everyone else and trying to survive without breaking down that they end up looking inward and asking \u201cwhat is wrong with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They say things to me like \u201cWhy can\u2019t I handle this?\u201d or \u201c<\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7104436697617714438?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7087751143702480389\">I am not cut out for this<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are sold messages about self-care, tips and tricks on reducing their exhaustion and anger, and told by their doctors to try reducing stress. They are sold the message that it must be a mental health condition that is stopping them from functioning as well as they think they should. They are medicated. They are told to just lower their expectations and calm down. They are told it\u2019s their responsibility to let their partners know to care for them.<\/span><\/p><p><strong>They are made to feel as though the load they are carrying for their family feels heavy because of a character flaw or an internal weakness.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4514dbd elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4514dbd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The Numbers Don\u2019t Lie: Moms are Past Their Tipping Point<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ba1b0a5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ba1b0a5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a digital creator, I post content daily about motherhood, mental health, trauma and other related topics. I have a combined community of over 1.5M followers, and like most digital creators, my content sees a mix of engagement. Sometimes, posts go \u201cviral\u201d &#8211; attracting millions of views, tens of thousands of comments and direct messages that I struggle to keep up with. I share these numbers to highlight that engagement with my content is like a pulse: A pulse on what other mothers are feeling, struggling with or hoping for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition to the deep personal relationships and connections I have within my community, at times it also feels like my community is a focus group on motherhood &#8211; they are the teachers, and I am the student. Their reactions to my content show me what is important, what is relevant, what is needed. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My post on May 30th and subsequent posts on the topic gained a lot of traction. Notifications lit up my phone persistently. DMs were streaming in. I shared a thought, and my community screamed back YES!<\/span><\/p><p><strong>Moms are sick of being being burnt out and told it\u2019s their problem.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-226c303 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"226c303\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">But mothers are not weak, the load is simply too heavy. <\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cfbe3e9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"cfbe3e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The solutions they are given are just more tasks to add to their list. Taking care of themselves better, asking for \u201chelp\u201d, going to therapy, buying more books, streamlining their lives, \u201cslowing down\u201d. Nobody is talking about the fact that they are carrying a load that is far too heavy for any human. It feels heavy because it is too heavy, but they\u2019re treated like they are the problem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are being gaslit. You are being gaslit. We are being gaslit.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3a8eb9e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3a8eb9e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CeJDgeZu3MI\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CeJDgeZu3MI\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; 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font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CeJDgeZu3MI\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\">A post shared by The Honest Mom (Libby) (@diaryofanhonestmom)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote> <script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6c8cb22 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6c8cb22\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-150x150.png\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail wp-image-656 lazyload\" alt=\"Diary of an Honest Mom Floral Design\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-650x650.png 650w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01.png 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-150x150.png\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail wp-image-656 lazyload\" alt=\"Diary of an Honest Mom Floral Design\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-650x650.png 650w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/DiaryofanHonestMom_Floral20-01.png 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-764f974 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"764f974\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What is Gaslighting? Moms Being Made to Feel as Though They are The Problem\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-26e2d39 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"26e2d39\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/basics\/gaslighting\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Psychology Today<\/strong>:<\/span><\/a><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/basics\/memory\">memory<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, their perception, and even their sanity.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I call it gaslighting because as a society we continue to perpetuate narratives that the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">legitimate negative experiences<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">feelings<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that mothers are having due to gendered and structural inequality and unattainable standards are <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">actually<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> problems within us.<\/span><\/p><p><strong>In other words, we are set up. <\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-abb661b elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"abb661b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2400\" height=\"1256\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-649 lazyload\" alt=\"Motherhood is Hard, Let\u2019s Make it Easier Blog Photo\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min.jpg 2400w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-1024x536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-768x402.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-1536x804.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-2048x1072.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-600x314.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2400px) 100vw, 2400px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2400\" height=\"1256\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-649 lazyload\" alt=\"Motherhood is Hard, Let\u2019s Make it Easier Blog Photo\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min.jpg 2400w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-1024x536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-768x402.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-1536x804.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-2048x1072.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Copy-of-WardFamily-JohnandSamanthaPhotoandVideo-15-min-01-min-600x314.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2400px) 100vw, 2400px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-65c330e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"65c330e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>We are set up to be responsible for all the things, for all the people, all the time. <\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, no one knows what we do or needs to thinks about it. We are expected to work like we have no kids and raise kids like we don\u2019t work. We\u2019ve got to juggle it all and handle a disproportionate amount of the domestic labour and child rearing compared to the men we are partnered to. Then we are told to fix ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7104436697617714438?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7087751143702480389\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>This video explains it well.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is natural to be upset, tired, and angry about the heaviness of our expectations, but we are treated like we shouldn\u2019t be. We are treated like there must be a problem with our capacity, our mental health or our abilities.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The worst part? Many mothers believe it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By no fault of their own, their perception shifts to doubting themselves, their abilities, their worth and their sanity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What\u2019s worse? We put it on their shoulders to fix &#8211; on top of everything else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you angry? Just calm down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you tired? Make sure you are sleeping.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is the house too much? You\u2019re responsible for asking for \u201chelp\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you depressed? Eat better, run, take medication.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anxious about the kids? Don\u2019t be.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overwhelmed? Make a better plan. Simply, \u201cdo less\u201d.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But who will do the things she doesn\u2019t?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The only way to lessen the load on mothers\u2019 shoulders is for someone else to take some of it onto theirs. But it seems no one is willing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if they are, then she better count herself lucky.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is easier to pretend she is imagining how heavy it is in the first place. It\u2019s easier to make her think there is something wrong with <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">her<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-01c4a12 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"01c4a12\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What About Mental Health and Mothers? <\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0ed7a3d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0ed7a3d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a <a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/your-mental-health-matters-there-is-hope-in-knowing-we-arent-alone\/\">mental health<\/a> advocate, it needs to be said that the mental health crisis among mothers is real.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are several, very real and treatable mental health disorders. BUT, when we label the exhaustion, burnout, anger, resentment, worry and stress of mothers as \u201cmental health,\u201d regardless of the circumstance or social context, we do her, her family and all of society a disservice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The fact is that higher stress levels, lack of access to support, sleep deprivation, being overworked, financial stress, and perceived incompetence or insignificance are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.americanmentalwellness.org\/prevention\/risk-and-protective-factors\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">common risk factors<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for developing and exacerbating mental health problems. And these are all things highly connected to caregiving, the mental load, and emotional labour that mothers do at a much higher proportion than men.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mothers are likely to struggle less with their mental health if the social structures surrounding them are supportive and gendered roles within their homes were more balanced.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5298308 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5298308\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The Missing Factor in Self-Care For Mom Burnout<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3191b3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3191b3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/50-free-self-care-tips-for-busy-moms\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/50-free-self-care-tips-for-busy-moms\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1655815506336000&amp;usg=AOvVaw24isCnS0HXq-kQye7qWrAp\">Self-care<\/a> is fantastic. You know what&#8217;s better? Being taken care of. The sort of care we give to all the other humans we love dearly who live under our roofs &#8211; that is what we REALLY need more of. And we shouldn&#8217;t have to beg for it or schedule it ourselves.<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mothers are the ones caregiving for everyone else. They are making the time, spending their mental, emotional and physical energy making sure the needs of their family members are met.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">most often<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, who is looking after them? Who is scheduling <em>their<\/em> \u201cme time\u201d? Who is cooking <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">their<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> food? Who is telling <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">them<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to go to sleep?\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She is &#8211; it\u2019s just another job on her to-do list.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And while self-care most certainly contributes to our wellness as I\u2019ve shared in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/10-self-care-tips-for-moms-with-little-to-no-support-system\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">past work<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, one of the most important components is having a family culture where it is accepted and encouraged that mom is taken care of. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/mom-guilt-sucks-knowing-we-arent-alone-helps\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mom guilt is prevalent <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in moms who aim to prioritize their physical, emotional and social needs because they\u2019re made to feel as if they are not deserving of care.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><strong>Self-care is sold to us as something to add to our list of to do\u2019s. So I ask, where are our caregivers? Who is prioritising mothers, the ones prioritising everyone else?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-227d004 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"227d004\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Break the Burnout Cycle Prevalent Among Moms:  Address The Structural Inequality and The Division of Labour<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-45518a4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"45518a4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Despite all the strides that have been made, the majority of parenting labour, the mental load, the emotional labour, caregiving, and the domestic labour, still falls on the backs of women regardless of whether or not their role requires working outside of the home.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>And it contributes to the feeling os motherhood ambivalence, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.com\/worklife\/article\/20221111-what-is-maternal-ambivalence-and-why-it-matters\">a topic I discussed in a feature by the BBC in November 2022.\u00a0<\/a><\/p><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-4940 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"http:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-300x190.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"190\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-4940 lazyload\" src=\"http:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-300x190.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"190\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-300x190.png 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-1024x649.png 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-768x487.png 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM-1536x974.png 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Screen-Shot-2022-11-17-at-12.48.39-PM.png 1662w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/noscript><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/89-503-x\/2015001\/article\/54931-eng.htm\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> 2018 Statistics Canada study, there is significant evidence of the fact that <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">women are continually performing a disproportionate share of unpaid work and even though more women are in the workplace than ever, there has been little redistribution of unpaid work at home to men. It\u2019s only gotten <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ctvnews.ca\/lifestyle\/worry-work-the-mental-load-is-weighing-on-mothers-in-the-pandemic-era-1.5697090\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">worse since the Covid-19 pandemic<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, I decided to run an Instagram poll of my own, and while Instagram polls aren\u2019t the most scientific of methods, here\u2019s what the results showed:\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Over 11,000 women responded to the polls<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An overwhelming 96% of respondents shared that they take on the mental load of parenting.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Over 80% of respondents reported that they take on the domestic labour inside of the home.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yet, moms are treated as though there is something wrong with us for being angry, that it\u2019s some kind of flaw &#8211; not that we are at the brink for very valid reasons. Anger is necessary sometimes. Anger makes us aware of social issues and motivates us to solve problems. Without anger we would have no change in any world issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The frustration mothers express with regards to how much of the load they are carrying and the inequalities they face at home and in the workplace should be welcomed.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because, when mothers are valued and supported by their families and the systems in place, we are less likely to be overwhelmed, exhausted, burnt out and resentful. When mothers have the opportunity to focus on our wellness, we are less likely to struggle with our mental health. When mothers are okay, we can show up better for ourselves, our partners, our kids, and our workplaces.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d228384 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d228384\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Why Should Anyone Who Isn\u2019t a Mom Care About Mom Burnout?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fb063c9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fb063c9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The burnout epidemic of mothers directly impacts the men, the children, the communities they live in, the organisations they are part of, the businesses they own and work for and social institutions they belong to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s in everyone\u2019s benefit to demand equality.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all have mothers and know the impact that they have on our development, confidence, well-being and success in life. So why aren\u2019t we making sure mothers are also cared for? Why aren\u2019t we providing mothers with every opportunity for success so that they can be the best version of themselves?\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop telling moms they need to prioritize themselves when nobody else seems to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop invalidating the struggles of mothers by telling them it\u2019s not that bad or that it&#8217;s worse for someone else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop pretending running a household isn\u2019t hard work but refuse to take part in it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop telling moms they just need more self-care.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop prescribing pills before prescribing a shift away from a patriarchal society.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop making women feel they just need to try harder.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop telling women it\u2019s their fault they get walked all over by their spouses.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop telling women they just need more boundaries and to just say no if you aren\u2019t also finding someone else in the picture to say yes to the million responsibilities she has.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop making women feel like they are not enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-037809c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"037809c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What can we do about mom burnout?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ea99c2b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ea99c2b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All these \u201csolutions\u201d are bandaids on a sinking ship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Personally, I take medication, practice self-care, enact boundaries, say no, and go to therapy &#8211; among other healthy habits. These things are so helpful for my own wellness as a mother. I also live with a partner and father to my children who carries his weight. It\u2019s still hard.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As mothers, we can do things to cope with our circumstances and the system we find ourselves in, but it\u2019s just not enough. There needs to be systemic, long lasting change &#8211; especially for women who aren\u2019t so privileged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Otherwise, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychedmommy.com\/blog\/invisible-load-motherhood\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the invisible load of motherhood <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">will eventually suffocate us and we\u2019ll be told we should have pulled the bag off our own heads.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that look like? It looks like a lot of things that have to do with the laws, rights and legislation passed by our governments to make sure women are treated fairly. It looks like change in the workplace and affordable healthcare and enough maternity leave, for a start.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/believe.earth\/en\/10-ways-to-promote-gender-equality-in-daily-life\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">has some great recommendations.\u00a0 If you are looking for ways to share the load fairly at home, check out the New York Times Bestseller and game changing solution for couples called <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.fairplaylife.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fair Play<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and revolutionise your homelife. Change CAN happen one household at a time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At a systemic level, contribute your voice and join the movement to make the workplace and home a more equal place for men and women.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If nothing else, share this blog post with a friend. Let a mom know she\u2019s not crazy and she\u2019s not alone. She\u2019s just carrying too much.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ea4d26d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ea4d26d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Did this resonate? Follow me on social @diaryofanhonestmom for a daily dose of relatable and honest motherhood.<br \/>I talk about hard things that no one else seems to be talking about, but so many of us seem to be feeling.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-495c5e6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"495c5e6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">- Libby Ward (AKA The Honest Mom)<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why the gaslighting of burnt out moms attracted over 1 million views, tens of thousands of comments and 11,000 survey responses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3158,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[42,47],"class_list":["post-3157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-mental-health","tag-motherhood"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - 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