{"id":2687,"date":"2022-03-22T21:40:52","date_gmt":"2022-03-23T01:40:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=2687"},"modified":"2023-07-27T22:25:33","modified_gmt":"2023-07-28T02:25:33","slug":"the-dangers-of-comparing-yourself-to-other-moms-and-the-solution-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/the-dangers-of-comparing-yourself-to-other-moms-and-the-solution-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Other Moms, and the Solution: Connection"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"2687\" class=\"elementor elementor-2687\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5702d42 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5702d42\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-cad7045\" data-id=\"cad7045\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e13ffea elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"e13ffea\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Being the mom I wanted to be before the Mom comparison began<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6d7c629 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6d7c629\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p dir=\"ltr\">I entered motherhood with a zeal to succeed at raising well-rounded humans and not lose myself in the process.\u00a0<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">I didn\u2019t realize that my perception of and comparison to other moms would impact both my ability to be the mom I wanted to be and be a detriment to <a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/your-mental-health-matters-there-is-hope-in-knowing-we-arent-alone\/\">my mental health<\/a> in the process.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">What did I care about?<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">My children:<\/p><ul><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">being loved well<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">having security and stability<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">being fed, dressed and nurtured well<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">trusting me<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">being happy\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">getting to be children<\/p><\/li><li dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"><p dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\">knowing they are unconditionally accepted<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p dir=\"ltr\">I wanted nothing more than to know I had<a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/breaking-cycles-of-generational-trauma\/\"> broken the cycle<\/a> of generational trauma and the cycle of generational poverty.\u00a0 Having had a tumultuous upbringing, I knew that I wanted a different life for my children and I\u2019d have done anything to make that happen.\u00a0<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">I wanted to provide a safe and loving home and a childhood from which they that they wouldn\u2019t have to recover.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\"><strong>I wanted to be a good mom.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">As it happened, I was a good mom, but I lost sight of what was important as time went on because I jumped on the comparison train. I looked to all the moms in my life and the internet and saw the best of what they did and tried to emulate all of it simultaneously: it was a recipe for disaster.\u00a0<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">I started comparing myself to other moms and it made me feel like<a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/motherhood-is-hard-lets-make-it-easier\/\"> I wasn\u2019t good enough<\/a>.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\"><b>Also read:<\/b>\u00a0<a style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-size: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-size );\" href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/3-benefits-of-journal-prompts-for-mental-health\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">3 Benefits of Journal Prompts for Mental Health<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-58a84fa elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"58a84fa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"512\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-768x512.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2616 lazyload\" alt=\"Libby Ward pregnant belly showing with daughter kissing it as Libby smiles.\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"512\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-768x512.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2616 lazyload\" alt=\"Libby Ward pregnant belly showing with daughter kissing it as Libby smiles.\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/IMG_1434-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0c06a05 elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"0c06a05\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2552a78 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2552a78\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Going Beyond Comparing Yourself to Other Moms: My Journey to Connection over Comparison<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-abd21e9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"abd21e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I started off my motherhood journey in a way that made me feel like I was doing pretty well.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Breastfeeding my first-born worked out for me. I wore my baby and loved it. I did all the crafts and made home-cooked meals. I was intentional about socialising my kids and exposing them to a variety of people and activities. I kept my house clean. I was patient. I was kind. And for a little while\u2026 I was thriving.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Soon enough though, after hitting the ground running and forgetting about myself in the process: my stamina began to dwindle, I had a second child that was much, much more difficult than the first, the sleep deprivation set in, my mental health took a beating in the form of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/10-tips-for-recovering-from-postpartum-depression\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">postpartum depression<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and I started looking at how everyone else was seemingly better at all this than I was.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-897b112 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"897b112\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Newsflash: they weren\u2019t.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And here is how I figured it out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>I connected with them.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connecting with them did 2 things:<\/span><\/p><ol><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It made me realize other moms weren\u2019t doing it all well;they were doing some of it well.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It made me realize I wasn\u2019t considering the \u201cwhy\u201d behind other moms doing well\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ol><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Coming to both of these realizations has made me reconsider <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7067314324334808326?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7074440030375282181\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">my hyper-critical view of myself<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and my mothering, learn to accept the kind of mom I amand has given me loads of grace for other moms who do things differently to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If those sound like things you could do with a little more of, read on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3ab237f elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"3ab237f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-42279f7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"42279f7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" style=\"background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);\" data-instgrm-captioned=\"\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CaKjcQSlC7-\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\"><div style=\"padding: 16px;\"><p>\u00a0<\/p><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\"><div style=\"color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"><div style=\"width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><p>\u00a0<\/p><p style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;\"><a style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CaKjcQSlC7-\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by The Honest Mom (Libby) (@diaryofanhonestmom)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote><p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d4c4a17 elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"d4c4a17\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-32d08f4 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"32d08f4\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-99b99d5\" data-id=\"99b99d5\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fe045c5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"fe045c5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Moms Can\u2019t Do it All Well, And That\u2019s Normal\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0b11f57 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0b11f57\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connecting with other moms and learning how they managed to pull it \u201call\u201d off made me realize that they weren\u2019t pulling it all off, they were pulling <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">something<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> off.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They did <\/span><b>some<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> things well, some things mediocre, some things good enough, and other things just not at all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I learned that that\u2019s not only okay, but it\u2019s essential for our long-term parenting goals.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem was that I was taking all the things other moms were doing well and trying to do all of them at full capacity. I wanted to be the healthy mom, the sports mom, the craft mom, the super clean mom, the playing mom, the fun mom, the organized mom and the mom who looked awesome doing it all at the same time.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I beat myself up for the things that I couldn\u2019t do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once I connected with other moms I saw that some things came more naturally for them, and others they had to work at or they just didn\u2019t prioritize.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>And funnily enough, I didn\u2019t think<\/b><b><i> they<\/i><\/b><b> were less than for not doing it all. No no no, that unrealistic perfectionist standard I only kept for myself.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-20108cb\" data-id=\"20108cb\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4f226e2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"4f226e2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-2690 lazyload\" alt=\"\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-600x800.jpg 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-768x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-2690 lazyload\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-600x800.jpg 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/20190406_173122-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-086fc3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"086fc3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Though connection I saw this:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Pinterest craft mom didn\u2019t care much about how clean her house was<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The everyday home-cooked, organic meals mom hated doing crafts<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The mom who always played with her kids didn\u2019t care much how they dressed<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The mom who always had perfectly dressed and groomed kids didn\u2019t leave the house much<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The mom who always took her kids to fun places didn\u2019t cook much<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And amazingly, their kids were growing up unique, loved, and well-adjusted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reality is that we\u2019ve all got varying degrees of each of these capacities.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reality is that we can\u2019t do everything well because we simply do not have enough time in a day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reality is that through connecting with other moms, we begin to see how damaging it is to compare ourselves and how beautiful it is that we\u2019re different.<\/span><\/p><p><b>Also read:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><a style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-size: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-size );\" href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/how-to-start-believing-you-are-a-good-mom-not-a-bad-mom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mom Journal &#8211; Why a mom diary will help you start believing you are a good mom<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c3318aa elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"c3318aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f1f6a25 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"f1f6a25\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Moms Who Are Good at Stuff are Good at it For a Reason<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-06f8c1a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"06f8c1a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some moms are just better at some things than me and some moms genuinely do seem to be able to handle more than I can. For a time, that was hard to see.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>It made me feel like I was not cut out for motherhood.\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn\u2019t just compare the things I did well, I hyper-focused on what I didn\u2019t. It was second nature.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I looked at what they fed their kids, how patient they appeared, if their kids watched a lot of screens, how clean their houses stayed, what sorts of activities they did, how much they played with their kids, and all the surface things like if they got those themed photo shoots for every minor holiday (like I attempted for the first year or so). <\/span><\/p><blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" style=\"background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/reel\/CaUjAzuAFdy\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\"><div style=\"padding: 16px;\"><p>\u00a0<\/p><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\"><div style=\"color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"><div style=\"width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\">\u00a0<\/div><div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\">\u00a0<\/div><\/div><p>\u00a0<\/p><p style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;\"><a style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/reel\/CaUjAzuAFdy\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by The Honest Mom (Libby) (@diaryofanhonestmom)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote><p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c8c3544 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c8c3544\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I couldn\u2019t stop comparing myself until I connected with them. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Through getting to know other moms, building relationships and looking deeper in their lives I started to notice things.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things like:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The mom who managed to upkeep her appearance had access to money and childcare that I didn\u2019t<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The sporty extra-curricular activity mom has a husband who was equally involved and whose work didn\u2019t consume his life<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The super clean mom actually did so because she struggled with anxiety<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The extra patient mom lived around the corner from <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7066107131610549509?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7074440030375282181\">her own parents who were highly-involved<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and gave her lots of breaks<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The mom who was always involved in the school programs and brought snacks to all the events didn\u2019t work a full time job\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And more, so so much more.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, of course we are all varying degrees of each of these, not everyone is a \u201c_______\u201d type of mom, but some definitely have more of a focus on certain aspects than others. That\u2019s okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was easy to look at what everyone else was capable of pulling off without considering a multitude of factors that are real and tangible and legitimate reasons why some moms could seemingly do more things or do certain things better.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once I considered how the following things affected another mom\u2019s ability to do different things, I began to give myself a whole lot more grace.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their resources and household income<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their support system<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their values<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their goals<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their other responsibilities<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their career<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their own struggles<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their access to information<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their health\/ mental health<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their number of children<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The ages of their children\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All of these things are huge. They impact all of us and our desire and ability to both do things, and to do them well.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I began to sit back and analyze what my biggest goals were, what my budget allowed, what my support system made space for, how my values would play a role and how my mental health put a roadblock in my best made plans.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I realized I was doing pretty well considering all those things: namely <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/10-self-care-tips-for-moms-with-little-to-no-support-system\/\">lack of support<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, having <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/how-tiktok-led-to-my-adhd-diagnosis-as-a-33-year-old-mom\/\">ADHD<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and having <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/self-care-tips-for-moms-with-a-low-budget\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>limited funds<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I saw through this analysis that I <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">was<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> good at being a mom, but not great at everything. More importantly it made me realize that\u2019s okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It made me realize that it is normal for each mom to have a different capacity and resources that make up that capacity.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It made me realize I was enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-206de02 elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"206de02\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-790bdbe elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"790bdbe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">A Way Forward For Moms Wanting to Connect Instead of Compare<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d7e2a57 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"d7e2a57\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Through connection, I looked at my motherhood differently.\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connecting with other moms <\/span><\/p><ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">helped me see that our life circumstances are extremely important in how we view ourselves and others, and that we never see someone else\u2019s full picture<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">helped me to extend empathy and give grace to both myself and other moms.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0helped me to prioritise my time and energy for what was important to <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">me.<\/span><\/i><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">helped me come to a radical acceptance of what kind of mom I was.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">has shown me the beauty in our uniqueness.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">taught me that I am enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn\u2019t need to be the mom who could do it all. I needed to be a mom who was confident in who she was and didn\u2019t try to be what she was not. <\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-e078156 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e078156\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-7c9f527\" data-id=\"7c9f527\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8f02a92 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8f02a92\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I needed to stop comparing and start connecting.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I eventually learned that it is okay to say no. It\u2019s okay not to not be what other moms are. It\u2019s okay to let things slide. It\u2019s okay to be good enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, rather than <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7071349443861187846?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7074440030375282181\">aiming for perfection in all things<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, I now aim for good enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know what? Good enough is the new perfect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And when we connect with other moms, when we look deeper than the surface, when we see them for the imperfect humans <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">they <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are, we begin to accept our own imperfections: and that is a beautiful place to get to in our journey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We waste less energy when we put our energy into doing what we do well, rather than stewing about what we don\u2019t do or stewing about what everyone else is doing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we connect we also build community, and that is something every mom could use a little more of these days.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As for me, when I stopped comparing and started connecting, I learned a whole lot more about the kind of mom I wanted to be, and I began to love being her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can learn to love the mom you are too, I bet she\u2019s actually really really great.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><strong>If this has resonated with you, join my Honest Mom\u2019s Insider Circle where you\u2019ll get all my latest updates, special offers and promotions and exclusive content only for subscribers.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">PS. If you\u2019re interested in what <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/7072349309148220678?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=7074440030375282181\">\u201ctype\u201d of mom<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I am now, this will give you an idea.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-4d327b2\" data-id=\"4d327b2\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2edb169 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2edb169\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CaTYt-RgrrF\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; 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font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CaTYt-RgrrF\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\">A post shared by Cat &amp; Nat (@catandnat)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote> <script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5e24d15 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5e24d15\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">- Libby<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Comparing yourself to other moms is very common but can lead to unnecessary stress. How to fight against it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2688,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[47],"class_list":["post-2687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-motherhood"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Other Moms, and the Solution: Connection - Diary of an Honest Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mom comparison is very common but can lead to unnecessary stress. 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