{"id":2355,"date":"2021-12-16T13:37:03","date_gmt":"2021-12-16T17:37:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=2355"},"modified":"2023-06-01T17:05:23","modified_gmt":"2023-06-01T21:05:23","slug":"coping-with-toxic-family-during-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/coping-with-toxic-family-during-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Coping With Toxic Family During the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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When the Holidays Are the Most Heartbreaking Time of the Year\n<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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You are not crazy for thinking the holidays are extra hard when you have a toxic family or toxic family members.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Personally, there is almost no other time of year when I feel the most sadness over my circumstances in life than at Christmas time. From the outside, my circumstances are good, enviable even. I live a comfortable life, married to a good man, and we have two healthy children.<\/span><\/p>

\u00a0<\/span>What could be so hard about that? Well, it\u2019s complicated.<\/span><\/p>

Keep reading for a bit more about my truth and the top four strategies I use to copy with toxic family members during the holidays. My goal in sharing this post is to let you know you aren’t alone if you can relate, and start a dialogue about ways to maintain our sanity through the stress of it all.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Disclaimer: Emotional, physical, sexual abuse and aggressive behaviour is not okay. If you find yourself in immediate danger or <\/span>If you are in an unsafe situation remember there is support available. Talk to a professional or trusted friend to express your concerns\u00a0 or if you are in crisis call 911 or contact a womens\u2019 crisis helpline like <\/span>AWHL<\/a><\/strong> who can provide assistance in 154 different languages.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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A Mother's Joy, A Daughter's Pain, A Present Challenge\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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As a mom, I love seeing the delight on my childrens\u2019 faces on Christmas morning. It is nothing short of magical. But as a daughter, I ache.\u00a0 As a daughter with a toxic mother, I grieve the relationship I will never have with my own mother and I have to put so much energy into get-togethers with her that it can suck the joy right out of them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Sometimes, it hurts the most because the holidays are a time of reflection of how toxic people have hurt us. Other times, the holidays with toxic people hurt because they are actively causing you distress or friction. Either way, it is hard.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Growing up, I always assumed that grown ups didn\u2019t have real problems. Once you were an adult, your childhood did not matter anymore and you were responsible for yourself and your feelings. Of course, we all know now that our childhood and our family circumstances have an incredible impact on us.<\/span> This article<\/span><\/a> explains some of the many ways our childhood impacts us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Not only does our childhood affect our development, our personalities, and our habits, but\u00a0 how we interact with the world and experience life. Our childhood and our family are two of the things in life we have almost no control over.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

They say family is everything, except when it isn\u2019t. Except when family is where you have been most hurt, most traumatized and most damaged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

If you have been hurt, abused, or manipulated by family, it causes deep scars which seem to always surface over the holidays. If you find yourself nodding \u201cYES,\u201d you are not alone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Being a Mom During the Holidays is Hard Enough As it Is.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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As a mom, the holidays are hard enough as it is. Trying to get everything organized, buying and wrapping presents, budgeting, decorating, baking, hosting, going to multiple events, sending cards, the list goes on. <\/span><\/p>

While the season is full of joy it is often moms who are the backbone of the \u2018holiday magic.\u2019 Oftentimes, we are the ones to move the elf, to remember the multiple school spirit days, to keep track of who has which presents and what needs to be done.<\/span><\/p>

The mental load of a mother is difficult enough as it is, but during the holidays it is significantly more intense.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>

We joke about it, but the truth is that it is the most stressful time of the year for many moms who are trying their best to make the holiday special for their families all while trying to meet other peoples\u2019 expectations and maintain everything they already have on their plates.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

When you add in family drama, a toxic family member or unhealed trauma from your past, it can make the holidays a very overwhelming time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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