{"id":1705,"date":"2021-11-09T16:29:50","date_gmt":"2021-11-09T20:29:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=1705"},"modified":"2023-02-21T13:59:17","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T17:59:17","slug":"stop-saying-big-kids-big-problems-little-kids-little-problems-to-moms-with-little-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/stop-saying-big-kids-big-problems-little-kids-little-problems-to-moms-with-little-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Saying &#8220;Big Kids, Big Problems, Little Kids, Little Problems&#8221; to Moms with Little Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1705\" class=\"elementor elementor-1705\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5c49198 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5c49198\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-fd0be14\" data-id=\"fd0be14\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61bb3a7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"61bb3a7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Moms of toddlers and babies need support, not perspective. \n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-92f4f62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"92f4f62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;ll never forget the first time someone said to me: Big kids big problems, little kids, little problems. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and so sleep deprived I couldn&#8217;t think straight. I experienced <a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/10-tips-for-recovering-from-postpartum-depression\/\">postpartum depression<\/a> in the form of rage and I thought I&#8217;d never escape it.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I loved and respected the woman who said this to me which made it hurt more. It nearly broke me. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It made me question myself more than I already was.\u00a0 It made me worry for my future and my children\u2019s future. It made me feel defeated , because if I can\u2019t handle these supposed \u201csmall problems\u201d, how would I cope in the future?<\/span><\/p><p><strong>It made me fearful.<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t doubt that having teenagers will rock me to my core.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t doubt that aspects of having older kids will leave me in a puddle of tears and worry. I don&#8217;t doubt that it&#8217;s going to be hard for the long haul. I don\u2019t doubt that it will continue to be hard. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But as a mom of multiple small children who was gasping for air or a moment to myself and wondering if I would ever be okay again, I wasn\u2019t prepared to think about how hard the other parts would get.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that my kids are older, I understand what they are saying. I understand that the problems our small children face are things we can usually just distract them from or fix with a cuddle or snack. The problems older children face are more complex for us as moms to navigate. But as mom of littles, I couldn\u2019t see past tomorrow.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>The mental load, the exhaustion and the sensory overload were already so hard to navigate.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a79f182 elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"a79f182\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2dbbed2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2dbbed2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><em>Disclaimer: My story is a personal account of my own journey with postpartum depression and overload, and it should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. I strongly believe that anyone who feels they may need support seek the help of a qualified health care professional &#8211; they were vital in my own journey, and are trained to find the right support for each person\u2019s unique and individual care. If you are in crisis &#8211; know there are many compassionate and expert teams available to help you. Call 911 or consult with your local emergency department. If you need help you deserve it, and can get it.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a288cea elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"a288cea\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\" style=\"--divider-pattern-url: url(&quot;data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns=&#039;http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg&#039; preserveAspectRatio=&#039;xMidYMid meet&#039; overflow=&#039;visible&#039; height=&#039;100%&#039; viewBox=&#039;0 0 117 26&#039; fill=&#039;black&#039; stroke=&#039;none&#039;%3E%3Cpath d=&#039;M3,1.5C5,4.9,6,8.8,6,13s-1.7,8.1-5,11.5C0.3,21.1,0,17.2,0,13S1,4.9,3,1.5z M16,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-4.1-3-8.3-3-12.5S14,4.3,16,1.5z M29,1.5c2,4.8,3,9.3,3,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S27,4.9,29,1.5z M41.1,1.5C43.7,4.9,45,8.8,45,13s-1,8.1-3,11.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S39.7,4.9,41.1,1.5zM55,1.5c2,2.8,3,6.3,3,10.5s-1.3,8.4-4,12.5c-1.3-3.4-2-7.3-2-11.5S53,4.9,55,1.5z M68,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-0.7,8.1-2,11.5c-2.7-4.8-4-9.3-4-13.5S66,3.6,68,1.5z M82,1.5c1.3,4.8,2,9.3,2,13.5s-1,7.4-3,9.5c-2-3.4-3-7.3-3-11.5S79.3,4.9,82,1.5z M94,1.5c2,3.4,3,7.3,3,11.5s-1.3,8.1-4,11.5c-1.3-1.4-2-4.3-2-8.5S92,6.9,94,1.5z M107,1.5c2,2.1,3,5.3,3,9.5s-0.7,8.7-2,13.5c-2.7-3.4-4-7.3-4-11.5S105,4.9,107,1.5z&#039;\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E&quot;);\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0be61e1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0be61e1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">It is damaging because it ignores the type of hard that moms are facing<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-a721666 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a721666\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-6934eeb\" data-id=\"6934eeb\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7abf898 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7abf898\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These moms don\u2019t sleep, eat food while it is hot, or have the privilege of going to the bathroom alone. These moms just want a hot shower alone. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are still adjusting to what it means to live life as a mom, being needed 24\/7. They are often crying out for help, looking for a time when their bodies and minds will feel like their own again. They are too exhausted to take on what the struggles of parenting older kids is going to be like.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we say \u201clittle kids, little problems\u201d to these moms, it shows a lack of perspective for what they are facing right now, and a lack of empathy for how that might feel.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being aware of who we are talking to and what they might be experiencing are major cues in what we should say or not say. <strong>The words we say have the power<\/strong> to show support and solidarity, or to cause shame and fear.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-894f291\" data-id=\"894f291\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f89f676 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"f89f676\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-477 lazyload\" alt=\"\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min.jpg 500w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-477 lazyload\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min.jpg 500w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/SupportOverShame-01-min-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d1fd906 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d1fd906\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">It is invalidating to moms who are struggling with small children\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4134cbb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4134cbb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/ericalayne.co\/comparative-suffering\/\">Comparative suffering<\/a> is when we look at our experiences or others experiences and rate them on a scale of who has it worse. It is feeling the need to see one&#8217;s suffering in light of other people&#8217;s pain. There is no award given for who has it worse. There is no medal for having gone through more struggles than another person. When we tell other people that their problems are small we invalidate what they are going through and it is problematic for many reasons.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we say someone\u2019s problems are little, often what they hear is \u201cI am not concerned about how hard it is for you, because someone somewhere has it worse\u201d. It says \u201cI am not here to listen or to support what you are specifically struggling with, I am here to focus on the bigger picture\u201d. Even if we mean well. Even if the intention is good, it doesn\u2019t help.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It tells moms that we are not hearing or caring about what they are sharing with us but only comparing their pain to ours or someone else\u2019s. Someone else struggling doesn\u2019t take away from our struggles. All pain, all problems and all suffering are valid. <\/span><\/p><blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\/video\/6987499584943639814\" data-video-id=\"6987499584943639814\"><section><a title=\"@diaryofanhonestmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@diaryofanhonestmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@diaryofanhonestmom<\/a><p>a message for the new moms here <a title=\"newmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/newmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##newmom<\/a> <a title=\"seasonedmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/seasonedmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##seasonedmom<\/a> <a title=\"supportmoms\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/supportmoms\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##supportmoms<\/a> <a title=\"momsgetit\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/momsgetit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##momsgetit<\/a> <a title=\"honestmom\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/honestmom\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##honestmom<\/a> <a title=\"motherhoodunplugged\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/motherhoodunplugged\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">##motherhoodunplugged<\/a><\/p><p><a title=\"\u266c if ur reading this ur really cute - summi \ud83c\udf1f\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/if-ur-reading-this-ur-really-cute-6977978646019459845\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c if ur reading this ur really cute &#8211; summi \ud83c\udf1f<\/a><\/p><\/section><\/blockquote><p><script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c199391 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c199391\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">It can cause anxiety for the future and make moms wonder what's wrong with them for struggling<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-094f2a8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"094f2a8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By saying \u201cbig kids, big problems\u201d moms hear \u201cyour problems are insignificant and don\u2019t matter\u201d. Many moms with small children are overwhelmed, exhausted, touched and wondering when they will get a break again. They ALREADY wonder if they are cut out to be a mom. They ALREADY think there might be something wrong with them for not being able to handle it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When moms already feel like they won\u2019t make it to the end of the day with babies and other little ones at home, being told it only gets harder, compounds the overwhelm and anxiety that moms are already feeling. It makes moms think \u201cIf I am only just surviving now, and it only gets harder, I won\u2019t be able to handle that\u201d. It can send them into a spiral.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The thought of it only getting harder and the problems only getting bigger is extremely overwhelming. The idea that this stage in their life that they find extremely difficult, is considered by other moms to be the easy part makes them fear the future. It causes mom\u2019s undue worry.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This phrase makes them question their capacity for stress and parenting more than they already are. Instead, if a mom of littles asks, we can tell them, it gets different. The parts that are hard now are easier. So you will have more capacity to deal with the different challenges that come your way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b4f3354 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b4f3354\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Invalidating the struggles of moms of littles silences moms, and that is a problem<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2188bea elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2188bea\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mental health is real and many new moms struggle with anxiety and depression. What is needed is more support and more open conversations around mental health and the normalization of new motherhood. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It needs to become normal to talk about how hard it is. But this phrase stops moms from wanting to share or open up.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is already immense stigma around mental health. A great deal of new moms who are struggling with perinatal mood disorders don\u2019t talk about it because of the shame, stigma and fear of what others think. Talking about it normalizes the struggle and ensures they will be more likely to get help when they need it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is dangerous (or could be dangerous) when we invalidate them or make them feel stupid for sharing because it makes it that much less likely to reach out for help when they need it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-40170b2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"40170b2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What can we do to support new moms and moms of little children instead?\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0ae4fc4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0ae4fc4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Moms of little ones are not the right person to unload on. If you&#8217;re a mom of older kids just know the time and place. Your struggles matter too. They do! Find someone who has had a solid night&#8217;s sleep.\u00a0 Find someone who has walked in your shoes. Don&#8217;t unload on a mom with little ones. Yes, parenting is always hard,\u00a0 but the hard gets different and you won&#8217;t be juggling the same things you&#8217;re juggling now. You can&#8217;t compare because it&#8217;s just different.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some things we can do to help moms of littles:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let her know she is not alone<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let her know you remember how hard it was when your kids were small<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask her to talk about it<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask her what you can do to help<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offer to clean her house<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offer to watch her kids<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Drop off a hot cooked meal<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remind her of her worth and value<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tell her, that this part DOES get easier<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6c6bd21 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"6c6bd21\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">To the moms who feel like they are drowning: this part does get easier, I promise.\u00a0<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-abe9e89 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"abe9e89\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-b92bcf4\" data-id=\"b92bcf4\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dcf002e elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"dcf002e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-300x300.png\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-1715 lazyload\" alt=\"\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2.png 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-300x300.png\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-1715 lazyload\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-600x600.png 600w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2-100x100.png 100w, https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Its-okay-to-not-be-okay-2.png 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/noscript>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-c4ca3ef\" data-id=\"c4ca3ef\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-22427ae elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"22427ae\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><i>Does this resonate with you?<\/i><\/p><p><i>You are not alone! Subscribe to my Honest Mom\u2019s Circle by joining my email list. Here you\u2019ll find my most HONEST mom truths, my most empowering tips for all moms and exclusive perks like discounts for must have items and must do experiences!<\/i><\/p><p>While you are at it, make sure to check out my supportive and funny mom\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/shop\/\">merchandise!<\/a><\/p><p>And leave a comment, tell me what you think about this post!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0eb30ba elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0eb30ba\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">- Libby<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well intentioned moms of older kids say this all the time. But is it helpful? Moms of small children can often feel shame and fear from this statement, even if it is said with good intention.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1706,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[94,39,47,37],"class_list":["post-1705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-comparative-suffering","tag-mom-of-two","tag-motherhood","tag-new-moms"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Stop Saying &quot;Big Kids, Big Problems, Little Kids, Little Problems&quot; to Moms with Little Kids - Diary of an Honest Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Well intentioned moms of older kids say, &quot;big kids, big problems, little kids, little problems,&quot; all the time. 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