{"id":1672,"date":"2021-11-08T23:31:06","date_gmt":"2021-11-09T03:31:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/?p=1672"},"modified":"2023-02-21T14:07:10","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T18:07:10","slug":"your-mental-health-matters-there-is-hope-in-knowing-we-arent-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanhonestmom.com\/blog\/your-mental-health-matters-there-is-hope-in-knowing-we-arent-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"Motherhood Mental Health Matters: There is Hope in Knowing We Aren\u2019t Alone"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Normalize talking about motherhood mental health: Depression, anxiety, PTSD and beyond<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Motherhood Mental Health: Depression and anxiety are beasts, and they have the potential to steal away significant portions of our lives, but they don\u2019t have to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I have struggled with depression on and off since I was a teen living in a tumultuous home without guidance or support, throughout my early motherhood<\/a> where rage was my main symptom and even now as a mom of two kids over five years old.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

My mental health hasn\u2019t defined my life so much as my experiences with it has made me into an advocate for it. I want to help break the stigma and come alongside other women in their struggles to let them know there is hope and that they are not alone. <\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>

I\u2019d love to say I\u2019m stable, instead I\u2019ll say I\u2019m seasoned<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I\u2019m learning how to cope and I want to share my stories and insight with you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I\u2019m called Diary of An Honest Mom because I tell the truth about what it\u2019s really like to be a woman and a mom in the 21st century, along with all the complex responsibilities and expectations that come with that. I\u2019m honest about life and mental health and the importance of the state of our well being as women. <\/span><\/p>

I believe that vulnerability and storytelling about what we have been through connects us and opens the door, not only for healing, but for long term wellness. I want women to know that they deserve to feel okay and to prioritize themselves.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Disclaimer: My story is a personal account of my own journey with depression, and it should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. I strongly believe that anyone who feels they may need support seek the help of a qualified health care professional – they were vital in my own journey, and are trained to find the right support for each person\u2019s unique and individual care. If you are in crisis – know there are many compassionate and expert teams available to help you. Call 911 or consult with your local emergency department. If you need help you deserve it, and can get it.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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So, what is Mental Health?\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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The <\/span>CDC<\/span><\/a> defines mental health like this:<\/span><\/p>

\u201cMental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Life is hard: Motherhood Mental Health Awareness and Support Make it Less Hard<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I have always felt as though life was harder than it was supposed to be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Learning to be an adult, trying to become financially stable, managing stressful family relationships, maintaining healthy friendships, relationships with our spouses and partners, and figuring out who we are and how we relate to the world is thoroughly exhausting. And the effects of trauma? That is a whole other post.\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

As women who grew up in the 80\u2019s and 90\u2019s we were told we could have it all. Go to college or university, get a career, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. But for many, it either isn\u2019t true or it isn\u2019t that easy.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

We are constantly having to redefine who we are and what we want out of life. When we become mothers, no one really prepares us for the fact that it will be hard as hell. Nor are we told that we\u2019ll either have to balance work\/home life or we\u2019ll have to stay home with the babies and either redefine ourselves or lose sight of who we are completely. <\/span><\/p>

No one warned us about the double standard. We can\u2019t have it all, not at the same time anyway.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

For everything we are taught in school, nothing prepares us mentally for the overwhelm and exhaustion of new motherhood. And let\u2019s not even get started on what sleep deprivation does to your brain. Perinatal mood disorders like depression, anxiety and postpartum rage run rampant in new mothers all over the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I wish I could say that depression and anxiety are easy to get rid of once and for all. They just are not. But, it is possible to live a fulfilling, peaceful and joy filled life while still living with mental health challenges. Reaching out to friends and loved ones, taking medication, developing healthy coping strategies and lifestyle changes can make an enormous difference to the state of our well being. <\/span><\/p>

Worry, stress, sadness, fear, anxiety, and anger are human emotions. Feeling them does not define who we are, and a diagnosis doesn\u2019t either. If you are struggling, know that there is hope, and by using a variety of strategies, we can stop it from consuming us. <\/span>
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My Experience with Depression: The First Pit of Despair\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I\u2019ve been in 2 major pits, and several more large puddles of depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Here is a snippet of my first pit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I grew up with a single mom, though she was rarely actually single, more so paired with strange and questionable men coming in and out of our lives. We lived in poverty and moved nearly every year, were estranged from our relatives and had exactly 0 sense of community anywhere we lived.<\/span><\/p>

We were pretty isolated from the outside world, and I see now that it was detrimental to my well being and formative years. Mental health support was not a \u201cthing\u201d in the 1990\u2019s and 2000\u2019s. I know now that my mom had undiagnosed personality and mood disorders, though at the time I probably would have just said \u201cmy mom\u2019s crazy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>

The pinnacle of my depression before adulthood was in my teens, living at home with my mom and stepdad who emotionally and psychologically abused everyone in the house. I got a job at 14 just so I could leave the house. Working at a full service gas station alone in the middle of winter all hours of the night for 20 hours a week was my safe happy place. <\/span><\/p>

At home I lived in sadness and fear and at school and on the bus I was terrorized daily. The girls who sat behind me on the bus would write in the fresh morning dew on the window \u201cgo kill yourself\u201d, on the regular. I had exactly zero safe adults in my life, that is until I began to attend church, but even then, I had limited access to them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I was angry, I was confused, I had zero control over my life, I was sad, and I saw no way out of the situation I was in. I had suicidal thoughts. In 2004, the word \u2018depression\u2019 wasn\u2019t in my vocabulary.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

@diaryofanhonestmom<\/a>

I’ll never forget them ##godstoodmeup<\/a> ##bullyingawareness<\/a> ##bekind<\/a>##greenscreen<\/a><\/p>

\u266c Lights Are On – Tom Rosenthal<\/a><\/p><\/section><\/blockquote>